What is Towny?
1.
A curiosity particular to the British Isles, although derived chiefly from the
On the subject of the opposite sex, it is often possible to observe the phenomenon of the "girl towny". This female variety is not dissimilar to the male variety, except that even more white clothing is worn, in stark contrast to the often orange war-paint worn caked over the faces of female townies. This serves to obliterate the feaures of the "girl townies" and cleverly hide the fact that the male and female of the species are almost indistinguishable without aids to appearance.
Interpersonal relationships among their own groups are often primitive, centred around cheap sexual conquests and who is going to "batter" who. The two are often linked.
The activities displayed by townies often serve to demonstrate a deep-seated aggression, often causing behaviour associated with extreme aggressiveness and violence. This includes a tendency to veer towards a non-towny in the street and "start on" them, at the same time accusing the aforementioned non-towny of doing the same to them. This is often accompanied by swearing, usually "Come on then, you f**king c**t!" or similar aggressive twaddle.
Townies generally have no knowledge of how their sub-culture started, as despite their apparent embracing of black culture, they are usually more likely to take part in a racist assault than normal people like you or I. In fact, any group assault is likely to have townies at the root of the problem.
I hope you have enjoyed reading my definition. If any more evidence/information is required, feel free to watch Crimewatch UK and look at the CCTV footage of street violence. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. Seriously, do it.
Norm#1: "What happened to your face?"
Norm#2: "Townies."
Norm#1: "Oh. Right. Tasteful ring."
2.
Ah, the general morons that inhabit England; they seem concentrated around the Northern areas, like a modern era barbarian/amoeba hybrid.
Characterised by their clothes, consisting of tracksuits. Logos are a must; also, a recent tread is to wear a hat at the odd angles, AND have a hood up at the same time. In broad daylight. Suspicions are rising that they are going nocturnal.
Another characteristic is the speech. They try to be 'gangsta muthafuggas', taken from American culture. Hey, what do you know; it WAS Rap. Also any phrases (or noises) are taken from popular TV shows. Like 'Bo Selecta', a comedy show. They have a penchant for the word "mint".
Examples of Towny 'speech'
"PROPA NAAARH" <==> "Proper no."
"YA SHTARTIN ME" <==> "You wanna start a fight?"
"PROPA BO" <==> "Wow, that's awesome."
"UEEEH!" <==> No translation. It could be a mating call.
Behaviours consists of:
* Walking into your shoulders, claiming you wanna start a fight, even if they had to come across the road to bump into your shoulders.
* Generally takin' drugs and getting drunk every night, getting rowdy and starting fights.
the list goes on.
they also do not like anyone who does not conform to their ways.
Sample Research was taken from the North Eastern Breed of towny.
<Townie> "You called me yesterday, didn't ya!? ****in *******!"
<Me> "...do I know you?"
<Townie> "PROPER NAH."
*At which point his friends come over.*
<Me> Sigh -_-.
3.
One who hangs around town. Formerly recognisible by their shell suit (Circa: 1989), now can be seen with baseball stretchfit cap on backwards/forwards, but to the side slightly and (Inexplicably) one trouser leg rolled to the knee with a sports sock pulled half way up the shin of the same leg. Normally has an IQ not outsizing their own shoe size, the towny travels in packs of at least five, displaying hostile behaviour to whoever does not coform to their rather narrow view of what is 'it' today. This can become particularly hostile if the individual in question may be wearing a band T shirt or is the owner of a pony tail and/or several peircings. Towny's are also noted for their unique method of speech, preferring to use such words as 'Innit' and 'Bad' (Meaning good!!??). They often decorate their bodies, in the form of really cheap and nasty looking tattoos (Known in the tattoo industry as 'scratches.') with the emblems of their favourite football clubs, their girlfriends names (Spelt wrongly.) or a bulldog.
Those guys are townys. Oh shit, there ten of them and seem irritated with me because I seem to be breathing with my eyes apparently open.
4.
n. Male, attends Virginia Tech, starts parties and also ends them (usually by breaking things), completely awesome in whatever he does, rarely attends class, he is always downtown, and lives off his parents money. Sleeps during the day, watches cartoons, and like full flavored beer (PBR)
Towny is so awesome, I hope he never graduates.
See
5.
Fuckers!!!!Full of it wen theyr wit their "crew" but scared shitless wen theyr by themselves. Give themselves stupid names and think theyr hard as nefink. Widely hated by every1 who is not a towny.
Kill the fukin chav.
See
6.
A piece of shit that should be shot on site. If they are black, they try to be Puff Daddy. If they are white, they also try to be Puff Daddy. On both occasions they fail. They spend their time chewing pills (actually cough pills, but they don't know that, not surprising seeing as their average I.Q is 7), knifing people who have individuality, stealing anything they can get their filthy, scummy little hands on, and basically making england into a stupid little trashy piece of rock.
Towny1: Hey, thrashhead! What did you just say about my mum/sister?
Metaller: do I know you?
Towny2: Oooh, did ya hear that? He called your sister a tart!
Metaller: Ummm..no...
Towny1: Well, i'll knife ya, ya blingin fizzle shizzle gangsta muthafugga!
Metaller:
Fuck this
Towny1 and 2 and 3 and 4 etc: (knifes metaller several times)
Towny563: well wouldyou look at dat, izzn't it! He's got 5p in his pocket!
(townies fight over the first piece of money they've ever seen in their council house scum lives.)
7.
Retads that go around saying "yo mama" and other things that sound the same. It makes them sound imiture
Towny:Yo mama!
Normal guy:Shut up!
Towny:Yo dada!
