What is Tree Molestor?
1.
A person who seems to believe that trees have sex appeal. Often mistaken for a
Tree Molestors will sometimes refer to themselves as "forest fairies". Please ignore their insanity, it is caused by toxins in the water from which they drink, and from a poisen in a root that they commonly use for human sacrafices to the gods.
In my experience with these creatures, it is best to avoid them at all costs. Capture could result in a painful, fiery death after which your flesh would be feasted upon. They share traits with the
They are weak against the force of automatic weapons, so if you find yourself in a situation where you must interact make sure you have said weapon nearby.
Guy 1: Woah, is that woman humping a tree?
Other Tree Molestor: Of course. Its her lover. His name is Jimbo. He is a very handsome tree, isnt he?
Guy 2:....isnt this illegal?
See
