Troll Cave

What is Troll Cave?


1.

NOUN: A dark, messy, downstairs room in which trolls, usually teenage guys, lay around smoking, playing Halo, drinking, making beats, eating, sleeping, watching TV, trolling about, or talking about plans of going outside.

Even during the daytime, a troll cave is dark because the trolls keep the blinds pulled down so that the light doesn't burn their eyes. The only sources of light in a troll cave come from the computer screen, the TV screen, or the lighter.

Common items found in a troll cave: a couch, an X-box, a TV, a computer, a bong, some pipes, empty beer cans, stray lighters, dirty dishes and clothes scattered on the floor and surfaces, food wrappers, etc...

Girls are generally not welcomed in the troll cave because they disrupt the trolls' way of life. Girls want to open the blinds or turn the lights on. They complain about how stupid the game Halo is and they want to change the channel on the TV. Girls try and get the trolls to pick up their clothes, bring the dirty dishes upstairs, and throw away the food wrappers and beer cans. However, the main reason that trolls try to keep girls out of the cave is that they always try to motivate the trolls to go outside. Even though trolls talk about leaving the cave, they rarely do.

The best example of a troll cave in Santa Cruz is Alex and Taylor's room downstairs.

Jade: Oh my god, it's so dark in here! Open the blinds!

Taylor: No! Well, go ahead and try... I broke them so that they can't be opened.

J: Uhhh... will you guys stop playing Halo?? It is the dumbest game in the world. I don't understand how you can just sit there and play it!

T: Will you shut your twat?

J: Alex, we have been listening to the same beat for two hours! Will you please change the song or turn it off??

Alex: No.

J: Ewww!!! I just stepped in a plate of syrup!! What is wrong with you guys?? Why don't you bring your dishes upstairs?? Ewww, this is gross. I'm wiping my flip flop off on your shirt, OK Taylor?

T: No! Not that one! Use my old Gayles apron.

J: Ok. I'm turning the lights on, too.

T/A: No!!!

J: Why not??

T: Here Jade, come watch TV. I turned the X-box off. Oh, sick, the fights are on.

J: Yeah right, we're not watching these stupid fights. I'm changing the channel. Yay, Friends is on!

T: Arrrr!!! Jade! You coniving hindu wench! Give me back the remote!

J: No.

T: Yes!

J: No!

T: Yes!!!

A: Shut Up! I'm trying to finish this beat!

J: Uhhh. This is dumb. Let's go do something! It's the weekend!

T: Let's smoke, you got any money?

J: Yeah right. Let me guess, you want me to pitch $20 while you and Alex only pitch $4, and then you want me to let you keep the left overs, right? No, we're getting up and going outside right now!

T/A: No.

J: YES!!!!!!! RIGHT NOW!!!!

T/A: OK FINE!!!

T: Hold up, let me find my sunglasses...

See troll, cave, den, stoner, halo

2.

NOUN: A dark, messy, downstairs room in which trolls, usually teenage guys, lay around smoking, playing Halo, drinking, making beats, eating, sleeping, watching TV, trolling about, or talking about plans of going outside.

Even during the daytime, a troll cave is dark because the trolls keep the blinds pulled down so that the light doesn't burn their eyes. The only sources of light in a troll cave come from the computer screen, the TV screen, or the lighter.

Common items found in a troll cave: a couch, an X-box, a TV, a computer, a bong, some pipes, empty beer cans, stray lighters, dirty dishes and clothes scattered on the floor and surfaces, food wrappers, etc...

Girls are generally not welcomed in the troll cave because they disrupt the trolls' way of life. Girls want to open the blinds or turn the lights on. They complain about how stupid the game Halo is and they want to change the channel on the TV. Girls try and get the trolls to pick up their clothes, bring the dirty dishes upstairs, and throw away the food wrappers and beer cans. However, the main reason that trolls try to keep girls out of the cave is that they always try to motivate the trolls to go outside. Even though trolls talk about leaving the cave, they rarely do.

The best example of a troll cave in Santa Cruz is Alex and Taylor's room downstairs.

Jade: Oh my god, it's so dark in here! Open the blinds!

Taylor: No! Well, go ahead and try... I broke them so that they can't be opened.

J: Uhhh... will you guys stop playing Halo?? It is the dumbest game in the world. I don't understand how you can just sit there and play it!

T: Will you shut your twat?

J: Alex, we have been listening to the same beat for two hours! Will you please change the song or turn it off??

Alex: No.

J: Ewww!!! I just stepped in a plate of syrup!! What is wrong with you guys?? Why don't you bring your dishes upstairs?? Ewww, this is gross. I'm wiping my flip flop off on your shirt, OK Taylor?

T: No! Not that one! Use my old Gayles apron.

J: Ok. I'm turning the lights on, too.

T/A: No!!!

J: Why not??

T: Here Jade, come watch TV. I turned the X-box off. Oh, sick, the fights are on.

J: Yeah right, we're not watching these stupid fights. I'm changing the channel. Yay, Friends is on!

T: Arrrr!!! Jade! You coniving hindu wench! Give me back the remote!

J: No.

T: Yes!

J: No!

T: Yes!!!

A: Shut Up! I'm trying to finish this beat!

J: Uhhh. This is dumb. Let's go do something! It's the weekend!

T: Let's smoke, you got any money?

J: Yeah right. Let me guess, you want me to pitch $20 while you and Alex only pitch $4, and then you want me to let you keep the left overs, right? No, we're getting up and going outside right now!

T/A: No.

J: YES!!!!!!! RIGHT NOW!!!!

T/A: OK FINE!!!

T: Hold up, let me find my sunglasses...

See troll, cave, stoner, lazy, boys


20

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