What is Tucker's Penis?
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The largest object known to man. It's been known to direct the movie Tank Girl starring Ice T and Iggy Pop. Tucker's penis can fuck anyone, anywhere, anytime, and for any reason. It single-handedly defeated the Russians, successfully ending the Cold War. Tucker's penis is the richest dick on the block, nay, the whole world. It also knows a secret form of martial arts taught to it by Tucker's father.
Person 1: "Did you see that school bus? It was almost as big as Tucker's penis."
Person 2: "No, that school bus didn't look rich enough."
Tucker's penis IS Elvis.
Tucker's penis spread AIDS across 3/4 of Africa in one blow.
Don't kid yourself, you'll never find a penis as big as Tucker's penis.
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