What is Turtle Tamer?
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They live forever, except when they get their asses whooped, and they're really slow, so they're always getting their asses whooped. What more can I say?
The Turtle Tamer's mystical connection with his terrapin brethren imbues him with great power. He excels at moving very slowly and winning footraces with smug satisfaction. His Muscle is the key to his success, and to hislong lifespan.
Random Words:
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catchy music that sounds like it was recorded on a cassette tape (which had already been used as a mix tape 20+ times so its worn out)
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