What is Turtle Tamer?
1.
They live forever, except when they get their asses whooped, and they're really slow, so they're always getting their asses whooped. What more can I say?
The Turtle Tamer's mystical connection with his terrapin brethren imbues him with great power. He excels at moving very slowly and winning footraces with smug satisfaction. His Muscle is the key to his success, and to hislong lifespan.
Random Words:
1.
The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.
*phone rings..
