Two Exits, No Waiting Edit Meaning

1.

Simultaneous explosion from opposite ends of the body, usually the result of a huge night on the booze or some sort of virus. One cannot be put off in favour of the other, requiring the immediate choice of the options below

Two exits, no waiting: do I puke in the bowl and shit on the floor or shit in the bowl and puke on the floor?

See bali belly, shit, puke