What is Unicorn Tears?
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A magical potion that does absolutely nothing, but is sought after nonetheless by suckers who never figured out that the Easter Bunny isn't real.
Step right up folks, we have here some vials of Unicorn Tears for the low, low price of $145. They are guaranteed to cure absolutely everything that could possibly ail you, just ask my associate, a former leper amputee who was saved by their magic. Get 'em quick, because we'll be leaving town in a hurry at about 3AM tomorrow morning.
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