What is University?
1.
Once a mechanism whereby smart people could raise themselves above humble beginnings and obtain a worthwhile qualification indicating a high probability of being employable. Now a complete con to get kids with high hopes into insurmountable amounts of debt before they even think about buying a house.. then they discover that the job they trained for was entirely fictitious, and they'll have to take any job they can get. At this point, they realise they should have gone into benefit fraud and drug dealing like all their "stupid" friends, who now have houses, cars and big screen TVs.
John always did well in his school classes, and did three A-Levels and got good grades. He went to uni for three years which put him about £30,000 in debt. When he finished his course he found that his degree counted for very little, since he had no experience and the other 400 job applicants also had degrees. He took a job as a sales rep with Coca-Cola, but got fired when he went to an interview for a better job. Meanwhile the cost of living rose exponentially, and by the age of 24, John's debts stood at around £45,000. This was before he even got a mortgage. A couple of years afterwards he divorced his wife on the grounds of infidelity, but she got custody of the kids, and now he doesn't even get to see them despite paying atrocious amounts of child support. Welcome to Blair's Britain.
2.
Excuse to chill out,
Is an example nesessary?
3.
The place where all asian parents want their children to study one day just to save face, and think that it's best for them.
It might look better on your resume.
Parent: Take advanced functions and calculus and vectors next year to prepare yourself for university.
Teen: WTF?
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4.
Institution which, with a bit of luck, can just about manage to undo half of a percent of the damage wrought by school.
She's made it to university. There's hope for her yet.
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5.
An institution with the noble goal of educating individuals within specialized fields, thus promoting the advancement of society. Today, the majority of people who attend good universities are spoiled rich kids who have had lucky lives and only want to get high-paying jobs when they graduate.
Jimmy asked Sally why she went to university, and she said so that she could become a money-licking lawyer.
6.
A cover-up by the members of the faculty of sciences to create large amounts of illegal drug substances, such at Methamphetamine, Heroine, and many others. Students who discover such secrets are subjected to the Liquid Nitrogen Torture.
"Wow! That's a whole lot of Meth Ice!"
"Yea, and we have to pour liquid nitrogen on you now"
"nooooooo!!!!!"
"yea...welcome to the Real University"
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7.
1. A respectable means of gaining knowledge and becoming more employable through hard work, therefore aiding humanity in becoming a smarter, more advanced species.
2. Something most people waste a large portion of their life at solely to save face, being that most people are thoughtless sheep who'll do whatever it takes to be accepted by society and are uninspired in general having absolutely no personal aspirations.
1. "I'm very interested in philosophy and wish to endure a life long career in the field so that I can enjoy the thought provoking concepts that are bound to surface, hence making my existence both a more enjoyable and meaningful experience."
2. "I guess I'll study philosophy... It's taught at university so whatever. My parents want me to go and people consider it prestigious so I'll spend six years of my life and 140k doing it. That'll certainly get people to think I'm smart."
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