What is Ups Express?
1.
A mail service primarily serving the "just found the invoice due tomorrow under a pile of papers" crowd.
UPS Express: Proudly stepping up to unnecessarily rush important things to important people because you like to procrastinate like a mofo since 1982.
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If you have gained a bunch of weight over the years and you don't want to reveal the true answer you reply with undisclosed. But yo..