What is Valentard?
1.
Someone (usually a guy) that is very attractive, in a rock-star sort of way. (Tall and skinny.) Usually plays an instrument of some sort and has piercings and tattoos. (They have no meaning; just because (s)he wanted one.) Tells Bill Brasky jokes after consuming one beer (Also very drunk at this point). Has a redneck hick sort of manner. Ususally clad in a baseball hat and mismatched flip-flops and cargo shorts. Very self-confident. Very horny, but also very stupid. Passes up sex with two very willing wo(men) on several occasions. Just a general prick all the way around.
Dry and sarcastic, you will learn everything you ever need to know in college from him/her.
Valentard: So, this one time I was in the back of a truck will Bill Brasky and a deer-
Girl: So, you wanna get out of here?
Valentard: Sure.....So you see this tattoo here. I just went in and said I wanted a tattoo.
Girl: Cool!
Valentard: So I play piano.
Girl: Even cooler! Good with your fingers, then, eh?
Valentard: So, I don't want a relationship out of this, I just wanna fuck.
Girl: Great! That's all I really want too! Can my friend (insert name here) come too?
Valentard: Sure!.....So, I totally don't have any condoms. Maybe some other time?
Girls: (Very pissed) Sure.
See
