Vauxhall Astra

What is Vauxhall Astra?


1.

The best car in the known universe. It's best features include anti-dog missiles, caramel-flavored wipers, cattle-prod and non-ωorking brakes.

The car can go from 0-60 in under 10 hours and costs the same as a helicopter gunship.

Jeremy Clarkson: The car you see is not very good. Quite apart from the fact that it’s a Vauxhall Astra, which has the social appeal of herpes, it has wonky steering and a completely unfathomable on-board computer. But I’d have one.

See car, vauxhall, chav, stupid, vroom

2.

One of the premier cars of choice for the UK's answer to Paul Walker. Usually owned by losers who still live at home with Mommy. Retrofitted with blue lights on the dashboard and dials that mean nothing but flicker and twitch all through the journey.

He paid for that Vauxhall Astra using his MBNA/CapitalOne card.


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