Virus

What is Virus?


1.

The product of a socially deprived 14-38 year old indivdual with way too much computer time and no job.

"Hey look that fat kid is making a virus on his computer, lets got urinate on his pc when hes done, after we shove molted steel in his ass with a stirring spoon."

2.

i) Computer programs that screw up other people's machines, deliberately.

ii) What anti-virus authors allegedly spend their time writing so we all have to buy their anti-virus programs to remove the viruses that they allegedly wrote in the first place, thus making them rich, and us poorer.

3. A test designed to measure the stupidity of the average internet user by seeing how many of them open up infected attachments in emails, despite thousands of warnings not to be so dumb.

Hmm let me open this not at all suspicious naked girls screensaver attachment.... larks! My hard disk is suddenly reformatting itself. This is the work of a dastardly virus!

3.

Something probably carried by AOL CDs.

I picked up an AOL CD and now I have a virus.

See Flame

4.

A virus is created from those social pariahs known as Hax0rs. These exiled individuals have been excreted from societys lowly depths and have evolved into the robust, 200 pound entitys that remain undisclosed in there parents basments forced to a life of sitting in a chair in dark surroundings with the simpsons on. They reject the sun for fear of skin pigment. With there knowledge of DOS and Visual basic they create what the bielve to be Godlike Programs called viruses. These viruses are designed to travel through the use of either direct ip connections or the spread through email, p2p, and other network connections. They in entity are simple and small programs with the command to infect registry files most commonly hidden files such as the WIN 32 Directory. once established they replicate themselves in emulation to a real viral infection but this virus does not attack the immune system. It instead becomes a memmory hog by sucking system power and changing system settings in order to protect itself. The best way to protect yourself against a virus is to not get infected in the first place. Do not download attachments from email even if it says its from somone u know as it could be a virus sent through that contacts address book. If you simply must use a p2p application create a seperate share file in which ur files downloaded go then use a virus protection software to monitor, and quarintine that folder. If you bielve you have downloaded a trojen virus (which is a program created so a the person on the other end can interact with your computer) then pull out your network connection imiedietly as to prevent that person on the other end from doing any further damage. A trojen is most of the time harmless because rarley do other people know how to use them. They are set up in this standard: Client and server. You are sent the server and the hacker has the client sort of a master and slave theory.

heres a tip: Do not run multiple virus software as they will try to compete with eachother and essentially do not work propperly. I suggest visiting download and try AVAST. You could also get a subscription service like norton and mcafee. also remember that virus software always needs to be updated and quite freqwently or else its ussless as viruses constanly change and new definitions are added.

Also keep firewalls active but just like software do not have competing firewalls. Windows xp sp2 has an integrated firewall but if that doesnt fit your bill you could try zone alarm.

Install a router, seems like everyone has em now anyway but it does keep you hidden. For those who know how to port forward be weary of your virtual ports. check them freaqwently to see if theres any activity. Theres reports of viruses being active in bittorent protocal also.

MOST IMPORTANT: never giv your I.P. to anyone.

"I am a maligment program created for the purpose of infection and replication"

5.

1) A biological agent that replicates itself and causes harm to its host.

2) A harmful computer program that spreads itself to other computers once contracted, somewhat like its biological counterpart.

1) Viral infections can be prevented through the use of vaccinations.

2) The only vaccination for this type of virus - common sense - seems to be constantly in short supply, which would account for people constantly opening strange or bogus attachments and (surprise, surprise) getting a virus.

See Stryker

6.

Causes a Compy 386 to become "slightly shotgunned"

"YOU MURDERER! You killed my brother!...I mean, computer!"

7.

A Malicious program that is designed to do nothing but piss you off and make you want to take a Baseball bat to anyone who makes it and their "Custom Built 1337 PCs".

Some douche in his moms basement: OMFG I MADE TEH VIRUS TO GET BACK AT PEOPLE!

See hacker, spyware, malware, cracker, faggot


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