What is Vodening?
1.
Receiving oral sex in a dingy motel room, while a heavy-set, Eastern European woman who resembles Carnie Wilson sits on your chest, and either Mark Harmon or a man in a Mark Harmon mask screams ethnic slurs at you from inside the closet.
Throughout this decadent ordeal, "These Dreams" by Heart should be crescendoing on repeat, the Eastern European woman should be muttering in some native, guttaral tongue and you should be weeping silently.
1982. Dokken World Tour. Pensacola Ramada Inn. Grunswilda the Moldovan Chamber Maid. Mark Harmon. Heart 8-track. Tears. Vodening.
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