What is Zagreb Coffee Break?
1.
When you are doing a girl 'doggie style' and you are about to reach your climax, you proceed to dump a cup of coffee on her back. The coffee should be luke warm, cheap, and shitty just as they serve in Zagreb. She will then - in no specific order - scream, jump away, and turn towards you. This is when you have the pleasure of squirting all over her while screaming, 'SMLIJEKOM!? SMLIJEKOM?!'over and over again until you feel as though you have degraded her enough. This word is prounouced: smlee-yay-come and means 'with milk' in Croatian.
This brutal sexual maneuver comes from the streets of Zagreb, Croatia for several reasons. The first is that no one works a full day in Zagreb. They instead spend hours each day sitting around, consuming coffee. It is no wonder their economy is such shit. The second is that it is quite difficult to pull off, much like the Croatian language. It is one of the hardest languages and is filled with so many stupid rules, that only 60% of Croatians can properly write in their own language. The final reason is because ZAGREB HAS THE HOTTEST GIRLS. It is no lie. And even the not-so-hot ones have great asses.
'OUCH! FUCK! WHAT THE...OOOOWWWWW, YOU SON OF A (turns around)'
'SMLIJEKOM?! SMLIJEKOM!?'
AHHH! I am from Zagreb and ...I LOVE COFFEE WITH MILK!!
'Yeah, I figured you needed a real Zagreb Coffee Break after working for a total of 6 hours this week.'
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