What is Zoey Jordan?
1.
Born in 1985, this writer/actress has endured many hardships throughout her life. Inspired by the very dead Hunter S. Thompson, she has crafted a book, called Piss and Moan, emphasizing her hate of the elderly and people in general. With the rare ability to possess a sharp wit, unmatched intellect, and indeed be quite sexy, her book has garnered critical acclaim and a near cult-like following.
Stories of people hopping on buses and making long trips to spontaneously show at her home in Dnalrag, Texas are not rare to hear about when talking of the fans of Zoey.
A staunch Vegan, Zoey has been a spokesperson for the Vegan lifestyle for over thirty-three years. This is just one of many examples on how she manages to transcend space and time.
Years later, doctors will tell Zoey she has an IQ of 48 and are what some people call "mentally retarded."
While her personal life is well-guarded, it is widely known that she is what many would consider 'very' atheist and that she has, in fact, touched the penis of this author on more than one occasion.
Zoey is a strong supporter of the first amendment, exercising her right to free speech by loudly proclaiming her hate of infants and her desire for their heads to be seperated from their necks. Also a supporter of the second amendment, she carries a revolver on her thigh whenever she wears a dress. When asked about other amendments, she once said "The seventh? That's cooool... but the rest are bloody gay."
Zoey Jordan once called an old woman a cunt in a walmart shopping center for being a cunt.
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