What is Zombic?
1.
It is a religion in which we believe in:
we have a zombie jesus named Marvin.
Our leader is Marvin, not god, leader.
you may know him as the zombie jesus. Marvins
date of birth is not known because honestly
no one knows a person is a jesus when they are
born. Marvin was a male who was a sexy mother
fucker, he lived his life to the fullest, when
in his 20's (during the 80's) he drank alcohol,
went to lots of shows,fucked as many women as
possible and did what ever the fuck he wanted.
which is why we do not tell you not to do
many things, there are only a few no nos.Marvin
died, and was reincarnated the following year on
the date of his death he killed many people
but was brutally murder with a shot gun.
There will be zombie apocalypse which we call
zomb-aclypse.when is unknown but what will
happen is all dead believers in zombic will
arise and eat till they explode,literally.
and all living believers in zombic will not
be harmedand when the die, many years later
there will be another zomb-aclypse which they
wil participate in.
When meeting another zombic feel more then welcome
to use our secret password. (om nom nom nom)
when engaging in conversation. not only is
it a funny word.but it also ressembles the
sound of zombies eating stupid people brains.
Please remeber that zombies only eat
stupid people brains only because all the
smart people learn to stay away from the zombies
and are most likely zombic, but all the idotic
people, yeah, the zombies have no mercy for
them.
when we die we will come back as zombies
duing the zomb-alypse.
believe in love making to the extreme.
us zombics, fuck as much as we can,
not only is it good exercise but it is just
a delightful activity, now we are not saying
whore yourself out but if you find yourself
a partner in which you are comfortable with
fuck when ever you want, where ever you want
please know your state laws on the subject.
Getting shitfaced in order to cause mayhem is
more then exceptable, we encourage it but
our religion is not a pushy one so if you
choose not to drink you don't have too and
will not be riducled.
Drugs, are a no no, they kill the brain cells
zombies eat.
Zombie take over will occur during the catholic
religions holiday passover what year is un-
known.
Zombies, do not carry virus's they simply kill
people for food the only way to become a zombie
is to firmly believe in our religion.and then
die.
under no circumstances, may you own a rifle or
any type of gun. If not needed for occupation.
Vampires absolutely do not exsist, they are
fake,however zombies, are indeed real. they
just enjoy lots of sleep. which may be why you
do not see them anymore. because they sleep
all at once for decades at a time.
If you do become a zombie during the Zomb-aclypse
please note, christians are our number one target
here, so that we can laugh when they realize
"oh shit, we were the wrong pushy retarted dumb
asses"
Please do not impersonate zombies in a bad
manner, this isn't polite at all, zombies have
never done anything to you and all though
they are they walking dead they do have feelings
too.
Morgan Freeman is the most powerfulman on this
earth whether or not he is Zombic, he has earned
the right to live happily, so if some expresses
a bad oppinion of him they will be beaten brutaly
by every able bodied zombic in the area.
if a zombic thinks other wise, they burn, yes
that is right, they spontaniously combust and
burn, this is a deadly sin and a personal
attack agianst Marvin who is indeed a HUGE fan
of morgan freeman.
Violence is almost always the answer,if you do
not like someone feel more then privleded to
punch them in the face, but shhhhh don't tell
the law what really happened, lie and say it
was self defense. and on that note if you are
suffering from any kind of abuse we suggest
hit them hard enough once, so they get the
hint and realize they will get they're ass
beat down if the mess wih you.
As for prophainity use it as much as you can
it makes words fun!
we do believe to each his own, so please do
not be racist, sexist, pregidous, but we also
do believe in fun, so you may JOKE as much as
you want, its just a joke, but if it isn't, that
just makes you a dick, and not the good kind
attach to males that you engage in sexual
behavior with, no the kind that everyone hates.
but not the kind the feminist hate.because thats
the kind you engage in sexual behaviors with.
only cool kids are zombic ;]
im catholic, YEAH WELL IM ZOMBIC, and im gunna et your grand childrens stupid brains!!!
See
