What is Zlotoff?
1.
The process of improperly applying cream cheese to a bagel. When zlotoffing, instead of applying cream cheese to the entire bagel initially, and then consuming, one adds the cream cheese one bite at a time. As any biz-school student can tell you, this process is vastly more inefficient than the normal way of applying cream cheese. Due to this inefficiency, the intelligence of zlotoffers everywhere is called into serious question.
I don't have time to zlotoff my bagel! I have to get to class! And besides, what kind of idiot would zlotoff a bagel anyways? Everyone knows there are no benefits! And not only is zlotoffing bagels slower, there is also an extreme social stigma attached to it, so if I were to zlotoff my bagel, I would run the risk of being ostracized by my peers.
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