Airport Bum

What is Airport Bum?


An invasive species of parasite infesting public spaces at airports. They are ravenous devourers of complimentary beverages and foodstuffs, and will quickly overrun habitats if allowed to establish a colony. Their loud and dissonant vocalizations drive away indigenous pilots and passengers, generally disrupting the fragile ecosystem of the FBO. There are no known means of eradicating an established colony, short of natural expiration.

Like a metastasizing cancer, the airport bums penetrated the lobby in a teeming plague of slack, wrinkley, wasting flesh, devouring the cookies and coffee in a sickening display of pigish rutting.

See fbo, airport, ga


Someone who spends a lot of time at the airport. A good thing to be. Airport bums often hang around maintenance shops and flight schools, watching pilots take off and land. They often drink a lot of coffee and read the magazines in the lobby. They may or may not know how to fly. Many fine fliers started out as airport bums.

See airport, ramp rat.

The person sitting at this computer typing this is an airport bum to the first degree. I almost never leave, actually. I even sleep here. But I also fly. It is fun being an airport bum.


A person who feels enjoyment by the combinational sight of tarmac (or grass), a windsack, and most importantly airplanes. This person will spend most of his free time at an aiport. Generally an airport bum will carry around a handheld radio with which he can listen into the airport frequency.

Usually airport bums are of a very healthy nature as they spend most time outside. They enjoy good weather and panaoramic sights of airplanes landing.

Not to be confused with a plane spotter, these are boring people.

Airport bums are relaxing, bright, interesting and attractive people. Who by all means wish they were sitting in every single airplane that takes off and flying over the world.

See airport bum, bright, relaxing, beauty, thrill


One who hangs out at airports all day. Airport bums can be found at airports of all shapes and sizes, from a big major airport handling 747's to the airport that doesn't handle anything bigger than a Dash 8. I am one myself and am proud of it.

Airport bums are generally educated folk.

See airport, aircraft, ramp, rat, gas


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