What is American Satellite?
1.
Overlooking the sprawling hills, mighty oak trees and quaint meth trailers of Avery Ln., one will find the epicenter of the greatest satellite installation team know to modern man. Tom Little and his child prodigy, Lucas, worked for years together installing high quality satellite television throughout the greater Prunedale Metro area. Their dedication to friendly service, top shelf equipment and sheer know how made them a shining beacon of home entertainment.
The practice was simple; Tom would greet with a hearty handshake and then set to work preparing the specifications needed for and efficient and quick install. Measurements for access holes were drilled, cable laid throughout the foundation, signal checks and angles aligned.
Luke would go into your kitchen, survey the outlying perimeter of the refrigerator, and in 2 to 2 1/2 hours would have sushi made with rice (most definitely burned and rendering your rice cooker unusable ever again), salmon (which you didnt even know you had OR were saving for a special occasion) and a plate of skirt steak with A-1. After leaving every appliance and light switch in the ON position, Luke would, most likely, take a gigantic shit in your bathroom.
You cant train for service this exceptional.
Tom would present amazing business cards printed in the finest letterhead.
Luke would leave orange peels underneath your couch and knock over a bottle of wine he just opened onto the carpet.
Tom's "Customer Service is Job #1" attitude would ensure the word spread that American Satellite was a force to be reckoned with.
Luke would install a dish in the middle of your driveway or hood of your car. Then he would get a blowjob from your sister. He's that good.
Tom would tell Luke to paint your washing machine green.
Luke would kinda start painting, and then give up.
Tom would punch your goat in the ribs.
Luke would spill bongwater on your couch.
Sometimes they ran out of gas on the highway.
More often then not, they delighted families and left an undeniable mark on the community of satellite television. Let the entire installation community know: You've got American Satellite to contend with.
American Satellite! Puttin' it Together!
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