What is Apocalypse?
1.
(See also: The Newton)
Going from the theory that every action has an equal and greater reaction, The Apocalypse occurs as a result of a human male ejaculating at the exact same time that he releases a dump into the toilet.
But at the exact same time that this is occuring the man must punish himself so relentlessly that he begins to bleed, cry, and sweat as well as making himself vomit, burp, cough, sneeze along with every other form of bodily fluid coming forth from the bowels of his body.
All of this being done at the precise and exact same time, will certainly cause the destruction of Pluto, eventually causing the end of the world.
"Hey man, I don't feel like the world should be around anymore, I'll be in the bathroom attempting to Apocalypse."
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2.
A day described by MesoAmerican culture that occurs every 52 years. this can be best explained by the end of the Aztecs in 1519. Ten years prior, there had been eight warning signs documented by the respected statesmen named Tzihuacpopoca. The following were reported in Tenochtitlan, the Aztec capital:
1. A comet appeared in the sky during the day.
2. A pillar of fire (possibly the comet) appeared in the night sky.
3. The temple of Huitzilopochtli was destroyed by fire.
4. A bolt of lightning struck the Tzonmolco temple.
5. Tenochtitlan was flooded.
6. Strange people with many heads but one body were seen walking through that city.
7. A woman was heard weeping a dirge for the Aztecs. (possible the fabled La Llorona)
8.A strange bird was caught. When Moctezuma looked into its mirror-like eyes, he saw unfamiliar men landing on the coast.
So what you say? well 52 years earlier Henry VII, who killed so many people, was born. The event every 52 years is known as the Tying of Years. The next Tying of Years is 2029. Personally i dont believe in any of it, but it is an extraordinary sequence of coincedences. In 1977, however, Mount Nyiragongo in Zaire erupted, killing slews of people in surrounding villages. Also a lesser note, snow fell in Miami in 1977, awkward. The Tying of Years is described in the writings of Xyochtolocan as follows: "When the coupling of great years and then some rounds(great year = 22 years) there will be suffering, a string of events that will bring the Earth as we know it to its knees, every period of the time described, bringing the world to the very brink of the apocolypse."
Some say the Mayan calander ends in 2012, which is an undisputed fact. The Mayans were basically the Aztecs and declined in 1519, the same time the Aztecs did when Hernan Cortez invaded. Same religion also, the mesoamerican spinoff. What i dont understand is that if the world will end in 2012, why isnt this one of the 52 year increments? if it goes 1977 - 2029 - 2081 and so on, then there must not be a very serious slew of events occuring in 2012.
The universe will probably end in another 18-20 billion years, due to one of the following.
If the big bang theory holds true, we will eventually coast back towards the point of creation and be recompacted back into a single molecule. sucks to live in the year 18,000,002,005 huh?
Or if there was some other way we were created, Earth will probably be engulfed by the sun. call me crazy, but scientists have theorisized that the earth and all of the planets are slowly coasting towards the sun, due to the suns gravitational pull. This isnt a result of the big bang if it happened, because Andromeda (52,000,000 light years away M32 closest galaxy, supports life) and its planets are not moving towards its sun. Andromeda's sun is also much dimmer, but the 5 planets of Andromeda are much closer to the sun, so all of them could support life. So eventually, we will either be
A) Compressed into an atom. Sorry, thats just the way its gotta go down.
B) Roasted alive by our beautiful sun
C) If the Mayan theory is right, which i just disproved, we will be over run by evil men, implode, burn alive, the dead will walk the earth, a large battle will erupt on the charred remnants of earth, and eventually the world will be ruled by just one man, described as "Dressed in black with dark hair, fair skinned."
You choose, but if i had to put my money on anything, i would say B.
I hope i live to see 26 (i turn 26 in 2012, the apocalypse) :P
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3.
The Apocalypse is the end of the world
help! Fuck!! It's the apocalypse!!!
4.
The day when the George Bushes of the world nuke each other until the Earth is one big smoldering ball of dead, atomless matter. May create zombies.
The more Republicans in office, the sooner the Apocalypse happens.
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5.
An apocalypse is the end of the world as we know it. Everything and everyone will die, and there will be no more planet Earth.
The movie Dawn Of The Dead is a great example of an
apocalypse
6.
the day that george bush gets reelected, so i guess the apocalypse has already happened
a monkey being reelected? how can so many people be so stupid?
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7.
The end of the world. See also
When fire rained down from the sky, we feared that it was a sign of the apocalypse
