What is Bacon Sniffles?
1.
Fluffy, soft, friendly euphemism for the much nastier, scarier, oh-my-god-we're-all-going-to-die-lier Human Swine Influenza.
In humans, the symptoms of Bacon Sniffles are similar to those of Human Swine Influenza, namely chills, fever, muscle pains, severe headache, and weakness, but also include irrational panic, currency hoarding, an obsession with constantly updating statistics, and a tendency toward Mad-Max-like scavenging for food, gasoline, and potable water.
"Sorry Mom, but I've got a touch of the Bacon Sniffles, and seeing as how you won't share your Pop Tarts, I'm going to have to kill you now. It's been a slice. Speaking of which, I'll take that Diet Slice, too."
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