What is Beer Monkey?
1.
n. Mythical Simian like creature that magicly appears during the middle of the night to Ruffle your hair, shit in your mouth and nick $50 out of your wallet while you sleep. Often visits after you duck out on a Friday night for a few "bevvies" with the boys.
And I'd just nipped out for a few quiet beers with boys and the next thing you know I wake up with a hangover and the "Beer Monkey's" paid me a visit!
2.
An imaginary primate that steals all your money on a night out.
I had to leg it from the taxi driver as the beer monkey had robbed me!
3.
Adj. A phrase which describes the post hangover feeling of foreboding and doom accompanied often by an inability to attain restful sleep despite severe fatigue.
Dude I had the worst beer monkeys ever last night, they rode me all night long!
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4.
A person nominated by the rest of a drinking group to fetch them all beer on request. A modern form of slave.
"Beer monkey, I'm empty, fetch me a frosty one from the fridge!"
5.
When you wake up in the morning, you know if you've had a visit from the Beer Monkey. Whilst passed out on the sofa after a heavy night of drinking, the Beer monkey pays you a visit and lays out a fat shit in your mouth, steals £10 for his Crack addiction and fucks off, resulting in the awful taste in the morning. He is known to visit between 3-4am whilst you are totally wankered. Not to Be confused with the Doner Monkey
After a Hard night getting
Wankered ...
Him: I am Fucked. *pukes in bin next to bed*
Me: Mate.. The Beer Monkey so visited me last night dude.
Him: Urrrghh *Keels over and dies*
6.
Technically 3, Clive, Geoff and Steve. After a heavy night on the pop, Clive ransacks your room while hiding your wallet,keys,phone,etc while Geoff punches you in your sleep (subsequent black eyes and headache in morning!) At the same time, Steve shits in your mouth leaving that strange nasty taste in the morning which not even bleach can shift!
Guy1: Went out last night on the piss, fuckin beer monkeys got me again!
Guy2: Bastards, looks like they got you a treat!
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7.
Slur referring to those who are from the country, Canada.
1. Mike has a couple of his beer monkey friends staying with him while they're on vacation.
2. Sarah won't go to Canada. She says she doesn't want to deal with all the beer monkeys.
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