What is Berkhamsted?
1.
berkhamsted is a small market town in hertfordshire.
everyone knows everyone else.
thieving crack heads are common place in this town, as much as the middle class newly weds try to ignore them.
there is a high contrast between the types of people living here; they're almost always either fuck ups or prissies who power lunch. neither crowd pays any attention of the other.
there's also a high amount of oldies.
affectionately known as 'berko'.
people have often talked of the 'berko syndrome' - once you've lived here, there is no escaping. one way or another, you WILL return.
"oi mate, got some pills?"
"dahling, let's go do lunch in berkhamsted high street. how's about cafe uno then we can go shopping in laura ashley for some lamp shades"
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2.
A town just north of london, which you can guarantee no-one has ever heard of, lovingly known as berko.
On youtube there is a song called berko, berko, showing the roughest parts of the town; it's fucking immense.
It is certain you will kill yourself or any other fucker at the amount of boredom in berko.
Earlier spellings included Berkhampstead, Muche Barkhamstede, Berkhamsted Magna, Great Berkhamsted and Berkhamstead.
Upper classes know not to venture to tesco metro on Friday nights, due to the thieving youths hanging around the outside of the supermarket.
'Darling, we've run out of poached salmon, and Marks and Sparks is shut, shall we go to tesco's?'
'Don't be ridiculous, you know what berkhamsted is like on a Friday night, we'd be skinned alive!'
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