What is Bulb Bride?
1.
Usually a dental assistant who marries the dentist she assists in the hope of gaining more ready and constant access to . . . no, not nitrous oxide, but said dentist's financial assets. In return, the assistant covers for and tries her best to enable the dentist's own nitrous oxide addiction. She does this by participating fully in the addiction with him. Also known as a
Pure nitrous oxide addiction is very rare among health care professionals, being the rarest among the drugs abuse by this group. When addiction does develop, however, it is most commonly part of a poly-drug abuse pattern and is usually the minor component of the addiction as in the case of the "bulb bride" wannabe, who plays up her mild addiction to the NO supply while becoming even more addicted to the credit cards, banking and investment accounts of her nitrous-huffing boss. Bulb brides habitually enter the office on weekends to find their husbands dead asleep in dental operatory chairs with nitrous masks still strapped on and have been known to turn up the nitrous flow to lethal levels, though only after learning the whereabouts and acquiring safe access to their husbands' not inconsiderable financial assets.
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