What is Cheese Cancer?
1.
A rare condition (about 2 cases every 2 years) of the lymphatic system caused by some of the additives and chemicals used in the production of cheese-like products (i.e. Velveta, Kraft, American).
Typical symptoms include: wearing tight jeans, sitting too close to a monitor, loss of motor skills (i.e. falling), panic attacks, and inability to wake up before 11am.
As of now, there are no known remedies/cures for this type of cancer.
Growing up I had Velveta and american cheese 3 times a week, and now I have Cheese Cancer.
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