What is Churn Rate?
1.
1. The rate at which new employees vacate a given job or company, based on dissatisfaction with bad work conditions.
2. The rate at which a person's previous meal vacates his or her stomach, based on the intensity of their vomitting.
3. The rate at which a man's semen vacates his testicles, prostate, and Cowper's glands, based on the intensity of masturbation.
All: Yale's MBA program postulates the "Churn Rate Paradigm" as:
Client's churn rate = k(worker's stomach churn rate) = k(new worker's churn rate)
The intervariable relation is proportional and geometric.
1. The new-employee churn rate at my previous job was really high.
2. The work itself was nauseating. I would vomit at least twice a day. On high traffic days, employee stomach churn rate was even higher.
3. It was a mopping job at a sperm bank/peep show/gay brothel (delete as appropriate). For some reason, I always ended up with the highest clientele churn rate. I hated that job. I'm going back to Taco Bell.
See
2.
The rate at which customers / subscribers / sumbitters stop using a product or service divided by the average number of customers / subscribers / submitters. Useful for determining growth trends versus customer satisfaction.
AOL's high churn rate indicates a low level of customer satisfaction.
See
3.
Churn is the percentage of total subscribers that discontinue
service divided into the total population. Usually it is
expressed as a percent based on the population change from month
to month.
An average monthly churn rate for wireless phones is
around 5%.
See
4.
How often a particular job gets turned over, time and time again.
The churn rate on that
mcjob is high. gee...nobody wants that job!
