Churn Rate

What is Churn Rate?


1.

1. The rate at which new employees vacate a given job or company, based on dissatisfaction with bad work conditions.

2. The rate at which a person's previous meal vacates his or her stomach, based on the intensity of their vomitting.

3. The rate at which a man's semen vacates his testicles, prostate, and Cowper's glands, based on the intensity of masturbation.

All: Yale's MBA program postulates the "Churn Rate Paradigm" as:

Client's churn rate = k(worker's stomach churn rate) = k(new worker's churn rate)

The intervariable relation is proportional and geometric.

1. The new-employee churn rate at my previous job was really high.

2. The work itself was nauseating. I would vomit at least twice a day. On high traffic days, employee stomach churn rate was even higher.

3. It was a mopping job at a sperm bank/peep show/gay brothel (delete as appropriate). For some reason, I always ended up with the highest clientele churn rate. I hated that job. I'm going back to Taco Bell.

See HMB

2.

The rate at which customers / subscribers / sumbitters stop using a product or service divided by the average number of customers / subscribers / submitters. Useful for determining growth trends versus customer satisfaction.

AOL's high churn rate indicates a low level of customer satisfaction.

See innards

3.

Churn is the percentage of total subscribers that discontinue

service divided into the total population. Usually it is

expressed as a percent based on the population change from month

to month.

An average monthly churn rate for wireless phones is

around 5%.

See Rob

4.

How often a particular job gets turned over, time and time again.

The churn rate on that mcjobis high. gee...nobody wants that job!


42

Random Words:

1. (Adj) Self absorbed. Obsessively self reflective. The audience tired of listening to his navelint monologue. The navelint boy droned o..
1. Someone who sells anything for just to much money. BIG MONEY WAFFLER "Gosh, that freaking BIG MONEY WAFFLER ripped me off..
1. A term used in World of Warcraft when a player is in an instance and draws more aggro then their level should. WTF you pulled another D..