What is Couchbaugh?
1.
adj. - the friend who moves back into town and shows up at your house regularly. at first he is more than welcome but then starts abusing guest privileges. he starts with a single seat on the couch once in a while but it then becomes the entire couch every night. he lives down the street but is at your place all the time, controlling the remote, ordering smelly food, and fouling up the entire house with farts and burps. you start making hints and jokes that maybe this isn't cool. but then he forms an alliance with a roommate who he can walk all over and figures this will allow him to continue hoarding your place. he will lay claim to a couch with multiple silent-but-deadly farts. he will never clean a single thing. he will bitch if you watch sports on t.v. he will make your drug problem worse. he will fail to add a redeeming quality to your place, besides the occasional pizza he will pay for, but then uses said pizza as leverage to watch Girls Next Door over Game 7 of the NBA Finals. his deep love of this sub-existence is contagious when you see the sheer joy across his face. it is easy to join him and become sucked into his world. the spell can only be broken by one of the outside world who breifly enters and clowns on you for being such a waste. once broken, you look back on your wasted time and regret watching that 3rd episode of Smallville. the only known resource of ridding yourself of the Couchbaugh is a Schneider.
"I gotta get out of my house, this Couchbaugh is sucking the life out of me."
"Did you just pull a Couchbaugh on a Saturday night? Weak."
"Can you bring your Schneider over here? I've got a Couchbaugh ruining my house."
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