What is Croydon Facelift?
1.
Possibly the most pointless hairstyle ever. It goes like this:
1. Pull up hair 'bare tight bled' so about 25% comes out and eyebrows are situated on top of head.
2. Hold in place with stupid hairband with things like cherries or dice pointlessly hanging off. Add ribbons and bells if necessary.
3. Unscrew lid of vat (minimum volume 25 litres) of hair gel/grease. Apply thickly and generously to not forgetting roots. Let dry until hair can be held up by gel alone without the pointlessly crap hairband.
OPTIONAL EXTRA!
If you missed little tufts of hair they can be curled up and glued onto forehead with aforementioned grease. V. attractive to any 'rood bwoy' wearing a Burberry (gaaah! Doom! Doom!) cap.
Must be painful. Worn mainly by common tarts and nedettes/she-neds.
No. Dont make me think about it. NOOOO!!!! NOT THE CROYDON FACELIFT!
See
2.
Type of hairstyle where garage loving council estate females pull they're hair up into a pony tail so tight it lifts their face.
She has a croydon facelift!
