What is Cyrus The Bear?
1.
Native to the Northern Virgina area, Cyrus the Bear is about 5 feet tall and is very aggressive. He is relatively smelly and eats large amounts of salmon. Cyrus escaped from the Zoo and dressed up as a human to attack retarded fish and pretty school girls that are easy to catch and eat. He enjoys rubbing against trees and smelling butts with his big Bear nose. He likes to drive a stick shift.
Survival Tips:
-Run; Cyrus the Bear is very slow do to his short fat legs.
-Throw a Textbook; Cyrus the Bear is normally afraid of anything that contains intellectual information.
-Guns are not effective; do to his thick fat hide guns will only slow him down, best bet is to throw a fish to distract him.
Fact; The only one to ever take down a Cyrus Bear was the mighty hunters Julian and Clark. It was a long battle, but victory was theirs. However after the battle Cyrus escaped and is still taking lives. Cyrus the Bear has been known to take on as many as 50 men at once. Julian and Clark are continuing their hunt for the King Cyrus Bear....
-"HOLLY SHIT!, Danny look out! There is a big Cyrus BEAR! RUN before Cyrus the Bear eats you!!!!
-You hear what happen to Erin? She was eaten by Cyrus the Bear after school!
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