Demitri Martin Edit Meaning

1.

hillarious comedian with best poker face. mediocre guitar player, but has hella funny jokes

if i have to go up in a building, ill take the elevater instead of the escalator. because one time, i was riding the escalator, and i tripped, and i fell down the stairs for an hour and a half.

a month ago, i got a cactus, and a week later, it died. then i thought to myself, "damn, im less nurturing than a desert."