What is Devil?
1.
Arch Angel Lucifer
As a biproduct of Lucifers jealously of god, he was cast out of heaven and took 1/3 of all angels with him. These 1/3 angels were damned willingly and unfaithfully to god. Lucifer was holy but angels too can go on their own volition, thus becoming fallen angels but unlike humans, cannot be redeemed like human kind.
I got cast out of heaven for treason, got cast out of the garden of eden for being a heathen.
2.
Devil is a general purpose evil-doer. He was created by God in 1977 as an alternative to Queen frontman Freddie Mercury. He currently lives in the "It's a Small World" ride in Disneyland, but has a summer residence down in Devil Gate Drive.
After World War II, moral values had been rising fast. This fact was helped by the death of Hitler and continued despite the fact that Europe was allowed to remain free. Heaven, Inc's (HEVN) stock shot up without any intention of going down, while consequently Hell Co. (HELL) suffered just the opposite. Hell's stockholders were getting angry, and CEO of Hell Satan needed to do something fast. I am a devil who jumps and attacks fresh, nutritious humans!!! I seek humans!
Indeed, the devil was in a bind and way behind. He announced that he would be taking a vacation to Hell. While he did go there, his true intention was not relaxation but to steal souls. Given the state of his company he was willing to make a deal. He walked along the country roads and found a possible client, who, due to lack of proper records (Charlie Daniels has the most complete account thus far, and there were very few witnesses) is only known as "Johnny." Some theorize the titular Johnny was, in fact, Jonhnny Cash, while others maintain it was Johnny Appleseed, authot of the Book of John. What we are told is that Johnny, possibly in a fit of frustration at his fiddle, had been "sawin' on" it and "playin' it hot." The latter is understood to be old slang for "setting something ablaze." The devil, eager to engage the dashing young stranger in conversation, stopped the wanton destruction and instead offered a more constructive alternative.
He suggested that Johnny join him in a friendly fiddle playing competition. It was not well known at the time that the devil played the fiddle, but in truth he was an avid fan of stringed instruments. To coax the reluctant Johnny, he offered a fiddle made of gold. However, being the business like demon he was, he strung the whole deal into a bet in which if he (the devil) won, he would get Johnny's soul. Johnny, being a man of danger, heartily agreed.
The contest took place in Taiwan. Scholars argue that the contest actually took place in Japan, because Charlie Daniel's account clearly mentions that "The devil's in the house of the rising sun." Japan is the land of the rising sun. But either way, Johnny won the fiddle made of gold. The devil left after having his mother cruelly insulted.
Along the way he hooked up with a slutty chick named Raven Darkholme. She eventually had his kid, Nightcrawler, the coolest most badass superhero ever. Unfortunately they don't talk much. Kids....
The contest with Johnny proved to be a valuable experience. The Devil returned to Hell in the 50's and launched a huge marketing campaign called "Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll." The original idea was to have the campaign called "Sex, Drugs, and Sex", emphasizing fornication among the other sins. However, propaganda mechanic Adolph Hitler advised otherwise. And with his experience of using infectuous jazz rhythms to gain power in Germany and almost take over Europe, who could argue? Thus, the term "Rock and Roll" was coined, inspired by the two drugs that led most often to fornication, crack cocaine and ecstacy.
The basic idea was to invent a new form of music using guitars, drums, keyboards, and suggestive hip motions. Jimmy Hendrix invented the guitar, but everyone at the time (the 1950's), knew that black people could only sing Gospel, a stereotype that wasn't yet ready to be destroyed. So the devil went in search of a poster boy for his fornication machine. A cross country tour proved fruitless except for Albus Dumbledore's brother Elvis, who was in Tennessee at the time. Extensive makeover surgery, hair grease, and guitar training, however, made him well equipped to battle all that was moral.
Christian groups at the time denounced rock as "The Devil's music", which wasn't altogether inaccurate. The Devil was not known for subtle advertising.
In 1992 Satan wreaked havoc during a live TV broadcast of Oprah interviewing Michael Jackson. Satan caused the firealarm to go off, triggering a chain of events that eventually led to the death of 10,000 innocent women, most of which were going to be eaten by Oprah anyway.
Mister Santa,often seen by priests, is best friends with Ozzy Osbourne, George W. Bush and Fidel Castro. When you see him, you won't notice him until he shows himselve in his true form. His true form is in the shape of that inbred kid playing the banjo in Deliverance. Unlike his contest with Johnny, in this form he always wins. The loser gets a banjo made of rope. Some people say that Satan, A.K.A. Santa, wears two red horns on his head, and they are not real horns but fake ones he bought off of eBay. To badly, those people confuses Satan with Bulls.
As head of the multidimensional charitable foundation Hell Co. the Devil has millions of employees in every country around the world. Mostly the Devil plays a nice round of golf with a dead stripper's breasts, leaving the day to day operations to his trusted henchmen. Hell Co.'s current board of directors includes:
Ernest Borgnine - Head of Cyborgs
Tom Petty - Crossburner
Andre the Giant - Secretary General
Dennis Miller - Director of Turncoats
Stan Lee - Public Relations
Sammy Davis Jr. - Minister of Jive Talk
Don Knotts - Janitor
Satan can be contacted by phoning 0800 666 666 in the UK, or 1800 666 666 in the USA for sales calls and business proposals. His personal phone number is 666. It is suggested that when calling you have a freshly slain black goat and your credit information on hand.
Because the Devil is wanted dead or alive by the police of Narnia, the Devil has to change being every now and then so that He/She/It/Michael Jackson doesn't get caught. Recently, the new Devil became the first vegetarian devil to have a nose that looks like it belongs to a witch (Her name cannot be given, to protect her, but if you phone Jesus at +87 2714 BEARDED JEDI, I'm sure he'll tell you. Either that or read the next paragraph)
The Devil's current form is Tony Curtis. You are the next devil
"The power of Christ compells you mother-fucker!"
~ Samuel L. Jackson on The Devil
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3.
white person,derrogatory. Same meaining as honkey, but expresses the evil or racist behavior of the white person being called devil.
Malcolm X called white people "White Devil."
4.
1. Prince of Darkness; King of Hell
2. Anti-Christ
3. The excuse for everything bad that happens in the world.
1 & 2. Be good, and repent thy sins, or ye shall suffer eternity in hell under the rule of the devil!
3. Psh, 9 / 11 was just an act of the Devil.
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5.
An authority figure who takes pleasure in tormenting his/her underlings.
My devil boss hit on me again today.
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6.
George W. Bush - President Of the U.S. of A.
the devils angels (american troops) have invaded Iraq
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7.
Devil(
, acording to the bible, it was the devil who induced Eve and Adam to eat the fruit of the tree of knowledge while god prohibited it
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