What is Emily Simon?
1.
Emily Simon is a wonderful person whose talents range into the hundreds. To describe everything about her would be like counting the stars in the sky in the middle of Tokyo, Japan. Her aptitudes vary from the all encompassing feats of ingenuity to the most miniscule performances, both of which ultimately make her who she is today. Emily Simon (here on out better known as “Em”) lives mainly on Diet Coke, Vitamin Water, Chocolate, and Luna Bars but for some reason is able to maintain a perfectly thin body, which most people would kill for. Speaking of body structure she closely resembles Jenny Humphrey, a main character on the popular show “Gossip Girl”, but as she would tell you, and you would learn quickly after meeting her, personality-wise she abso-positively-lutely is a Blair Waldorf. “It’s good to be queen”. Her ability to multi-task (i.e. watch Gossip Girl, 90210, and still do Chemistry homework) is unmatched. Em’s capacity of dealing with people who wear Juicy Couture is probably the most comical scene you will ever encounter. She can speak for hours literally bashing the entire band for false advertising, the uses (and misuses) of Terrycloth, and the fact that they are not even designers just two ageing women wanting to make money off pre-teen girls and their dogs. While not arguing about fashion or in English class, enough to put Al Gore to shame, she lives her life very comfortably surrounded by friends who bring out all sides of her. They respectfully call her a ‘Nun’ and ‘Eve’ from ‘Adam and Eve’. Emily Simon, with her cute nose, outgoing personality, and incredible smarts reminds everyone of a little sister they never had but always wished they did.
Friend - "Yo, your little sister is turning into Emily Simon!"
Sister - "YAY! I knew leaving Gossip Girl laying around would do it"
Nick Anderson - "I'm going to fail my AP World History Test this year!"
Emily Simon - "No you won't We will have a scrap booking party then we can study after."
Random Person - "And the Academy Award goes to... EMILY SIMON! For her work in acting, designing, and all-around niceness"
Fan - "OMG! I used to know her!"
Emily Simon - "First off I would like to thank Nick Anderson for being Ah-Mazing!"
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