What is Gooning?
1.
The act of a very addicted or chronic masturbator; getting so into masturbating, or
Big Bro: Dude, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were jacking off.
Lil Bro: I'm not JUST jacking off bro, I'm fucking gooning on this dick!
2.
A practice particular to engineering students at the University of Saskatchewan. Involves stunting, painting things red, and hanging cars from bridges. Participants in said activities are called "goons" and are usually members of the "goon squad"
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The goon squad suspended a red car with a giant E from the train bridge. It was a true act of gooning
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3.
A rampage that starts after drinking lots of cheap wine ie:
"You boys up for some Gooning tonight"
4.
Along with Albolene, one of the bate-culture shibboleths that reveal a man as an obsessive (and knowledgeable) Masturbator. The word possibly derives from childhood traditions of making a grotesquely silly "goon" face (e.g., at the end of the "Little Bunny Foo-Foo" game), or from the goggle-eyed, phallic-nosed character Alice the Goon in old Popeye comic strips from the 1930s.
''Gooning'' may be most simply defined as that state usually achieved after a prolonged edging session, when a man becomes completely hypnotized by the beautiful sight of his own erection, so that he no longer really needs other stimulation such as pornographic words and imagery. He's turned on by witnessing his own sexual arousal -- that is, he's turned on by the fact of his turned-on-ness -- and by simply gazing at his own hard, throbbing, precum-leaking, magnificently MALE PENIS.
He may also have a sensation that he is his cock, and his cock is him, and furthermore, that nothing exists except himself and the DONG. (Being a geek, I once suggested that the goon state could be compared to that episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation where a subspace fluctuation in the warp drive's matter/antimatter ganeckticazoid ends up flinging Beverly Crusher into a collapsing micro-universe that contains only herself and an unmanned U.S.S. Enterprise.) Anyway, while all this is happening, there's a high probability that his face is contorted into some mighty undignified expressions -- and hence the term "goon."
gooning
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