Guitarbarian

What is Guitarbarian?


1.

N. A guitarbarian is a guitarist or bassist who refuses to take care of his/her guitar/bass properly. The key signs of guitarbarianism are:

-Refusal to change strings

-Not adjusting the truss rods according to string gauge (if possible)

-Leaving the guitar lying around to gather dust

-Exposing the guitar to extreme temperatures or highly fluctuating temperatures

-Damaging the guitar on purpose (except when smashing the guitar on stage, because that's a past-time)

-Not tuning the guitar when you know you need to

-Over-tuning your guitar (tuning the guitar excessively or screwing with the tuning keys excessively weakens the strings)

Your average guitarbarian is a stubborn, preppy jerk who believes that they can pick up a guitar/bass and weave gold with it instantly, because Jimi Hendrix, Frank Zappa, and Eric Clapton could. Either that, or a total slob who treats his/her guitar/bass like a two-dollar 'ho. Otherwise, anyone can be a guitarbarian. Guitarbarians are frowned upon greatly in the music world, and are usually ostracized in ultra-obsessive music cliques, maybe even beaten or killed.

Joe is a total guitarbarian! Me and Eric went to his place for a jam session, and we found out that he had been using his guitar a a fucking dinnertable! There was Buffalo sauce all over the damned thing!

There should be a Social Services for guitars, where they go from door to door stabbing guitarbarians and giving guitar lovers rewards.

See bass, guitar, barbarian, slob, jerk


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