What is Institutional Masturbation?
1.
The effort colleges and universities put forth to convince their alumni to participate in their fund-raising schemes. Often, these letters will cite your success as evidence of their effectiveness. When this propaganda is presented in written form, it will include at least .5 exclamation marks per paragraph.
Some F. Schmuck has challenged <insert demographic here> to raise <insert amount here> by offering to match it if our goals are met! Your contribution will enable more students to have experiences just like yours and for us to continue our tax-payer and donor funded institutional masturbation.
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