What is Jew Camp?
1.
The various locations where Jewish kids 6 to 16 are shipped off every summer to give their parents and nannies a break from them. They all go for years and years and learn to love it and are turned into good little Jewish boys and girls. Often the location of the first kiss, first hand job, first... well let's just say there are a lot of firsts at Jew camp. (For a good example see the movie Wet Hot American Summer)
Jamie Smith: Hey what are you doing this summer?
Rachel Cohen: Oh I'm going to Jew Camp duh!
Jamie Smith: Oh.. yeah I go to church camp.
Rachel Cohen: Yeah.. um we have sex in the gazebo and go water skiing...
2.
A Camp where most Jews spend the majority of their summers, usually run by the NFTY organization.
At reformed Jewish camps, the point of attending is to get layed and get drunk. This is usually where mpst Jews explore their sexuality for the first time.
A place to get away from all craziness and restricting adults to be able to do whatever they want, that is if they get good counselors.
Usually, once a jew attends a Jew Camp, they never want to leave.
Gary: McKinley needs to experience "The Ultimate"!
J.J.: You mean, penis-in-vagina?
Gary: No, dickhead, sex.
-Wet Hot American Summer
what Jews aim for at Jew Camp...
See
3.
Jew camp is where jews go to get away from overly jewish parents and well to have sex under the lake dock. it also provides a safe haven from rape and molostation on shabbat
Ex. 1
Marge: Paula I want YOU
Paula: YO its shabbat
Marge: damn
Ex. 2
Emilie: So what are you doind this summer?
Dee: Well I was planning on having sex with Josh under the dock at Jew camp
Emilie: ME TOO!!
See
4.
Jew Camp is a place which is labelled by Jewish adults as
"A place where Jewish teens can congregate in a safe and welcoming environment to learn more about their judaic lifestyles and traditions."
But whether they're willing to admit it or not, everyone knows that there is only one reason anyone sends kids to Jew Camp: to procreate the species. Jew Camp is about Jewish teens getting together, yes, but the learning is just a time killer until it's dark enough to go find a nice cabin (or spot in the woods, or gazebo, or baseball diamond, or orange grove, or amphitheater, or, well, you get the picture) to satisfy their most basic hormonal urges.
The most "active" day of and Jew Camp setting is from friday night until saturday night. This is commonly known in the Jewish world as Shabbat, the day of rest. But rest and relaxation are only the front put on the day during which it is a double-mitzvah (it fulfills two commandments from the Torah) to fornicate. During this period, these two mitzvot are often adhered to and fulfilled as often as possible, usually with the excuse, "I'm just trying to be a better Jew," whether the young Jew actually attempts to follow mitzvot or not.
Jew Camp does not only take place during the summer months. The term "Jew Camp" is often used as a label for any organized gathering of Jewish teens during which at least one night is spent away from home, and there is some sort of "adult supervision," which usually consists of other jews in their early twenties who are two busy fulfilling their own sexual desires to restrain the teens in their charge from doing the same. A few examples of activities that are described to
-Confirmation trips
-Hebrew High retreats
-Summer trips with a group of Jewish teens, often to Israel
-Synagogue retreats (Although there is often too large a presence of parental units to count as Jew Camp, the umbrella term is still applied here on occaision. Ample time to "wander off" with an equally hormonally charged teen is almost always found somehow, thus it can still count as Jew Camp)
-Youth group trips or overnight events (
To summarize, Jewish teens + sex = Jew Camp
1) Mat: What are you doing this summer?
John: Jew Camp
Mat: What do you do at Jew Camp?
John: What do you do when your girlfriend's parents go out of town?
2) Sally: Jew Camp is in three days!
Rebecca: Who are you going for?
Sally: Jacob, what about you?
Rebecca: Michael, he was totally looking at me all last year, he'd better
make a move this time!
See
