What is Kraken?
1.
-a nasty vagina
-female pudenda featuring cephalopod extensions, teeth, and a squirting phlegm-like substance
-monster cooch
-a vagina of such monstrous, epic proportions and girth that it can devour a man whole. Only found in the wild.
Also called:
-Gaping Vagina Monster
-monstro-cunt
-octopussy
"Man, we were about to get it on last night, but then she whipped out her kraken and I grabbed my hand-cuffs and got the fuck out."
See
2.
The Kraken is, specifically speaking, supposed to be a sea monster with no distinctive traits. However, it has become fixed with the image of a big, bad-ass squid that fucks up everything whenever it appears.
You may recognize the Kraken from such things as:
1) Video games - Final Fantasy, Golden Sun, etc.
2) Literature - 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea, The Kraken, etc.
3) Movies - Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, Clash of the Titans, etc.
And much more. All you need to know is that the Kraken is badass and it will own asses whenever it appears.
1) I was playing Golden Sun on my GameBoy Advance and I was making good progress when the Kraken appeared and repeatedly kicked my ass.
2) I read Michael Crichton's Sphere, which features the Kraken. Needless to say, the Kraken opened a huge can of whoop ass on the characters.
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3.
A mythical sea beast that lived 250 years ago. He's a massive monster with tentacles, big bug eyes, multicolored skin, and a retarded wiggley smile. The absolute worst of the worst, just fucking rude, smug, good for nothing, worthless punk ass bitch. Straight up needs to see a plastic surgeon because no living creature should have such a fucked up wiggley smile. Nothing more than a shit eating, friend stealing, back stabbing, lying, cheating, sailor killing, boat tipping, fucking tentacle having freak who should get the fuck out of the ocean because every single living soul in the world despises him. Literally the dirt under your shoes that is so repulsive it makes you want to rip out your eyes and donate them to a blind person, only to kill that blind person because that shit was so down right gross, just fucking raunchy. The most ugly, white trash, baby stealing, shit eating mother fucker, just fucking sitting around all day smiling. Straight trash.
"The kraken killed every single person I know because it knew a guy who knew me. He burned my house down too."
"Yo man, I'm sorry to hear about that. I heard one time the kraken sold crack to a school of cancer patients and then blew up a church and burned down all the forests on the east coast."
"Motha fuckin jam!"
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4.
A gaming term, primarily used within GarrysMod. It occurs when a series of objects is welded together and one object moves out of place, this object will then frantically swing around until it manages to get back into its original place. The force that this object exerts is incalculable and will kill the player instantly. It also sets off nukes.
Outside of GarrysMod the term is used to describe when an object, usually a ragdoll(dead player or NPC) ends up partially within a wall or floor. The ragdoll will then swing around violently in order to try to escape the wall/floor.
A "crispy" kraken is when, after a kraken has killed you, your body turns into a charple(burned man.)
The kraken is known to appear in almost every game. Examples include: GMOD, Halo 1/2/3, Hitman: Blood Money, Deus Ex: Invisible War, Halo Wars, Toca Touring Car championship...and many more.
"Omg that thing you made is going kraken!"
"LOL that dead guy is krakening."
"OMFG that kraken is going towards the nuke!"
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5.
a huge killer dragon beast that lives in the sea, possibly Godzilla's father. according to folklore the kraken was originally someones pet gecko and that person angered the God's by peeing in the village fountain, so Zeus made his pet gecko grow to around 60 metres high and ordered it to kill him. alternate sources say it got trapped in a greenhouse. starred in the film "Clash Of The Titans".
The Kraken: "WRAAAARGH!"
Perseus: "leave me alone you big spastic lizard!"
The Kraken: "BY ORDER OF ZEUS I MUST KILL!!"
*Perseus stabs the Kraken in the eye*
The Kraken: "OOOW! YOU LITTLE SOD!"
6.
another word for awesomeness
that is sooooo kraken
