Lady Chatterjee's Clover Edit Meaning

1.

All-singing, all-dancing BOLLYWOODcloppera version of LADY CHATTERLEY'S LOVER, told from a specifically FEMININE POINT OF VIEW.

Screenplay by Pashmina Punani.

LADY CHATTERJEE'S CLOVER

Screenplay outline: Episode 1, Scene 2 - The drawing room, morning.

"Well, goodness, gracious and faroukh me!" exclaimed Lady C, coffee-cup in hand, restlessly tugging the twigfrom her luxuriantly-tufted TAJMA HOLE and beckoning imperiously to her favourite PUNKAH WALLAH (whom she had but recently promoted from the lowly position of under-gardener in charge of bushes).

"What a beautiful, Indian summer in which to be alive! My CHIPATI has never been crisper - and my clover feels particularly lucky today." Taking her pearl-rimmed spectacles from their Armani case and peering down at a pink post-it note, she reminded the stalwart servant of his daily duties:

"Having stationed your engine at BHOWANI JUNCTION and proceeding full-steam-ahead up Wisteria Drive, you will then wend your way to Wimborneterminus, continually repeating the journey until I say " When". En route, you may pause every fifteen minutes, to take on a refreshment of Schweppes Indian Tonic Water, but by lunch-time it is imperative that the lumhas been swept and the propertyrenovated to my entire satisfaction."

See cloppera, poona, country matters, cougar, femme fatale, insatiable, pre-minstrel tension, asterisk, shagatha, apt, peachcomber, elvis prezzie, meat ration, an elegant sufficiency, love-puppet, badgered, plastering, percengenitation, chaucered, joy, urbanity, Persson

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