What is Madonna?
1.
An extremely talented marketer, who over more than twenty years has excelled in the aggressive selling of an otherwise not particularly desirable product -- herself. A triumph of style over substance. Her acting talent was recognized by her being awarded a special “Worst actress of the century” Razzie at the 2000 Golden Raspberry awards. (Has since seen the light and given up on acting). Also an author, her best known work being 1992’s “Sex”, which was sold sealed in plastic -- not because it was obscene, but because no one would have bought it if they were able to see how lame the contents really were. Also supposedly a musician.
Madonna has staying power in the public eye, although I've never been able to figure out why.
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2.
A woman who is something of a paradox.
She has achieved the status of being one of the most successful female singers of all time, despite not having a particularly good voice and only being of average attractiveness.
Her success could be ascribed to 'strength of character', but, also paradoxically, she is an incredibly shallow, vacuous person, known for changing her 'personality' and image every few years in order to lengthen her career.
Her latest fad is to take children from Africa to use as fashion accessories. She is currently affecting a peculiar accent in a pretentious attempt to apparently try to sound 'english'. Has a reputation for being rude, ungracious and self-obsessed.
Has dabbled in acting at which she has proved to be a notable failure and a laughing stock, as she doesn't have any depth within her own character to draw on when creating roles.
When the Madonna (Ritchie) family visited Madame Tussaud's Museum, Madonna's husband had a conversation with her wax model for 10 minutes before realising his wife had moved on to another exhibit.
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3.
a.Over 40 year-old women still acting like teenagers and wearing bras that overly "push-up".
b.Americans faking inconvincing British accents.
"Damn, don't get all Madonna on me, mom!"
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4.
a. American pop icon (and faux Brit). Officially the highest-selling female artist of all time. Also the richest and highest-paid female singer in the world as of 2006.
Argued by Rolling Stone as the "Most Famous Woman In The World"
b. Entity unreservedly and consummately beyond the first degree.
Confessions On A Dancefloor is the bomb! No smutty songs here - this album takes the cake! Madonna is the Queen!
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5.
a Madonna is a statue or portayance of the virgin Mary. It is a term usually used by Catholics
There is a 10 foot Madonna in this cathedral
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6.
It's like watching your nan dance in her
Hey Sam, he's doing a madonna!
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7.
Likely the most famous woman in the world. Her controversies and ever-evolving image have kept her in the biz for twenty plus years, though sometimes hurting her commercial success as opposed to empowering it.
She also has several nice tunes and the best pair of legs in Hollywood.
Ex. missionary to African orphan:
"Michael you are being adopted by Mariah Carey!"
Response:
"No, no - I won't have any food! Send that tiny Madonna for me PLEASE!"
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