What is Maloned?


Completely destroying someone: usually by elbow, dragon kick, knee to the groin, or clothesline.

Origin: Karl "The Mailman" Malone of the L.A. Lakers

Did you see David Robinson get maloned? Fuckin' malownage. Malone just maloned his fucking ear of and he was on the maloning floor unconscious.

See Karl Malone


verb, past tense-

1. when an ordinary situation, task or job not only does not work, but becomes exponentially worse, usually resulting in person(s) involved becoming permanantly scarred and/or maimed or property being broken beyond repair and usually followed by a lawsuit with the involved party.

2. Murphy's Law X 100

"Marty borrowed my truck to haul a camper to take his family on vacation, but I got Maloned when Marty attempted to connect to the camper, backed up and misaligned the receiver's hitch, ripping off the rear bumper of my truck and knocking the camper down a ravine with his family still inside."

See murphy's law, litigation, paralyzed, bad luck, clumsy


Maloning is an act of getting ahead in your career at the expense of someone else. This usually involves an act of violence- such as deliberatly injuring someone else.

Originates from the character 'Nomi Malone' in Paul Verhoeven’s Showgirls. In this movie, Ms. Malone pushes a fellow Showgirl down the stairs to further her career in an act of Maloning. The other character pushed down the stairs was 'Maloned.'

"Tonya Harding totally Maloned Nancy Kerrigan."


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