What is Mercury Topaz?
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A poorly made car from Mercury that was manufactured in the 80's and early 90's. They stopped making it due to poor sales and the fact that they're pieces of crap. They top out around 75 mph and are extremely unattractive. Often referred to as the "slowpaz".
Phil- "Dude, I just got a mercury topaz"
Chris- "That sucks man, I heard that they've been banned from highways because they're so slow, and no self respecting girl would ever set foot inside of one of them"
Phil- "Yeah, I should probly go drive it of a bridge"
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