Oakland Raiders

What is Oakland Raiders?


1.

A team of delinquents, reprobates, malcontents, and blowhards that are the scourge of the NFL. Most veterans play for the Raiders because they're washed up and no other reputable team would touch them with a ten foot pole.

It is unclear which is more woeful. Their record of recent years or their ironic catch phrase of "Committment to Excellence".

See fucktard

Daughter: Daddy, what's a synonym for loser?

Father: There are lots of them honey, but the one that best describes would be the Oakland Raiders.

Daughter: Is it true that the Raiders suck?

Father: In every way possible. :)

See turds, felons

2.

A Team that every player wants out of, or refuses to be a part of. Fans of the team are known as "Cholos" or "Homies"

Marcus Allen: Spent most of his Career with the Raiders, goes into the Hall of Fame as a Chief

Jerry Rice: Spent Some of Career with Oakland Raiders, retires a as a 49er

Rish Gannon: Retires after One Year as a Raider

Jerry Porter: Demands to be Traded

Ted Washington: Traded

Charles Woodson: Traded

I could go on and on

See losers, krap, suck, rada, kills

3.

Also: faders, raders. A team in the Oakland area, came to the American Football League, round 1950-60. Sucked so bad at one point that their senile, idiot of a general manager, al davis, had moved to LA, probably to stink that great city up. Well, they moved back to Oakland, to continue their tradition of losing horribly. that fatass john madden wanted to coach there. The fans seem like obvious freaks, so beware if your ever in a raders game, for you might get severely retared hanging around a rader fan. Made Randy Moss turn lazy and looked washed up. The only people to like the raders, well, the majority of them could fill a loony bin 10 times over. For Godssake, JaMarcus Russell is obviously smart enough to keep away from the raders as of now. Keep hangin on JaMarcus, somebody else is coming to rescue you! To sum it up, sucked doggy balls then, suck doggy balls now. oh and they're wannabe gangsters, couldn't even use the name "apple dumpling gang" cuz that'd sound too masculine to fit the raders. sorry if this is too long.

Antonio: y'know that sign in the philly eagles stadium wall that says "When we Recycle, everybody wins."?

Jerry: yeah? what does that gotta do with the oakland raiders?

Antonio: they mean:"when we recycle, everybody wins...... except the raiders!

to quote sportswriter Mike Freeman: "Oakland is making the Arizona Cardinals look like the New England Patriots."

See suck, hell, shithead, loser, fuckhead, wannabe, idiot

4.

The team that every minority in California is a fan of. The Raiders, however, are a bunch of losers who could care less about the team and most of the time want out of the organization as soon as possible Examples: Jerry Rice, Rich Gannon, Tim Brown, Both the Woodsons, Ted Washington, Kerry Collins, I could go on and on

Despite haveing the biggest fanbase in the NFL and some legendary players, the Raiders just lose, and that's seems like it always is. Example: The 2005 Oakland Raiders had Randy Moss (WR), the expert at cathing the deepball, and Kerry Collins (QB) the excpert at throwing the deepball. They had a good RB in LaMont Jordan, a decent O-Line, and a defence that had veteran leadership in Charles Woodson and young players such as Ted Washington, and an okay coach in Norv Turner. The Raiders went 4-12 that year. THEN, in 2006, despite Matt Lienart being on the board and a pressing issue of the Raiders needing a QB, they draft the sub-par Michle Huff. Ted Washington Left, Charles Woodson left and Randy Moss had the worst year in all his career in 2006. So what do they do? They get Aaron Brooks, a player that has never even led a team to the fuckin' playoffs, and hire Art Shell, an inexcpierenced 40-something year old who played guard like 20 years ago.

So overall, Raiders are destined to lose and all there fans are a bunch of pricks who only wear Oakland Merchandise cause it makes them look cool. (And by look cool, I really mean look cool cuz the Raiders uniforms are tight as hell even though a winner will never wear it.)

Me: Wow, I just saw a white guy claiming to be a raiders fan getting shot up by a gang...

Someone Else: Well that's just typical Oakland Raiders fans, ruining all of the football by making a FOOTBALL TEAM into a GANG...

Me: What a bunch of pricks, damn, it must suck to be a raiders fan...

See raiders, nfl, football, american football

5.

The Oakland Raiders only true football team in the NFL. Despite having to contend with pansy ass teams such as the San Diego Chargers or Kansas City Chiefs, they continue their COMMITMENT TO EXCELLENCE. With excellent draft picks (Huff, Walters), the Raiders continue to look towards the future and show the league how a team should be managed, coached, and run.

Their offense continues to dominate the league. With Randy Moss at wideout, every Sunday oppenent defenses cower as #18 takes them to the house. Lamont Jordan, their franchise running back, continues his superb career as the next storied starting running back of the Raiders. Meanwhile, both Aaron Brooks and Andrew Walters have been blessed by god to be be allowed to take snaps under center while dawning the Raiders helmet this year. No doubt their lives are 100000x more worthwhile now that they have done that.

Without even talking about the defense, the superbowl championships, the epic wins, the storied past of the club, and the amazing job Al Davis has done with the Raiders, it is easy to see that Oakland is, and was, always the best team ever in the world. Indeed, even you, reading this right now, have become more enlightened on the world than any religion could ever do for you ever. Raiders 07, Hutty Hutty

Oakland Raiders Tryout

God: I'm here to try out for QB, coach.

Moses: Same here!

Al Davis: Sorry guys, to be a real Oakland Raider you have to succeed at life. Walters, you're in

Andrew Walters: (Explodes from Euphoria)

Al Davis: Sigh...not another. Alright, I guess Moses can have the job.

See oakland, barbs

6.

The Raiders lost in the 2nd Super Bowl, although it was still to Green Bay. I screwed that up in the last definition, don't know what I was thinking.

The Oakland Raiders played in Super Bowl II, not I.

See oakland, los angeles, raiders

7.

Best football team ever. Most hated team by a bunch of faggot ass motherfuckers. We can give two fucks if you don't like us the whole Raider Nation or the team. Come talk all that slick shit over here in our home (The black whole, the Dark side) and see what happens bitch!

At the Oakland Raiders home game,

Hey how come there aint that many Chargers fans?

Because they're a bunch of scary ass fags

See raider nation


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