What is Parker Baird?
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A rare species of slothful, uncouth, horny, basically just utterly disgusting mammel that lacks any general hygiene and is found on Corral road.
Parker can be found undergoing a range of activities. He has been sighted on numerous occasions gnawing on the pews at church or any other objects made of wood, caressing his over-developed calfs, picking his nose, stalling his F-150, or most recently struggling to perform due to whiskey dick.
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the greatest newb that HALO has ever seen... usually runs with the crew...OHOOMIS, WAD SLAP, AND MANK...watch your ass...he might kill y..