Pork Scotch Tea Towel Edit Meaning

1.

A filthy article that has never been washed but which Pork Scotch uses to dry dishes. Normal people don't go near it apart from when they use it to kill spiders or to wipe up gunk from the kitchen floor.

Flondibulus: Bog roll's finished, is there any more?

Mickus: No, use a Pork Scotch tea towel. It couldn't get any filthier so the fat twat will never know.