What is Scottish Turner?
1.
The affliction, most commonly manifest in drunken English people, that has the effect of making its sufferers speak in a scottish accent/dialect. After one too many pints of guest ale (usually titled Highland Fling or Glasgow Kiss etc) the Scottish turner starts by addressing everyone as Jimmy before sliding headlong into indecipherable (even to real Scots) gorbals. Will often end up staggering round the bar with a broken pint glass whilst attempting to headbutt sundry drinkers who've done nothing wrong. Is often ejected without difficulty and told to fuck off back to the Scotland from whence he never came.
English drinker: I say, did you see the Chelsea game last Tuesday?
Scottish Turner : See you, Jemmy...Yis're gunni git this up yis...yis fuckin bassad...Mon then, ya fuckin cunt yis...I wis born i'fuckin Glasgi.
See
