Semantic Band-aid Edit Meaning

1.

All the verbal things one scampers to congure up, contort, and convey as sincerely as possible to patch up whatever's left of what was once an intimate relationship.

Janet: You broke up with Chad?!? Super-sensitive Chad? He's gonna implode!

Beth: I know! Too sensitive! That was the problem! So tonight I'm getting more stoned than the 10 commandments and write down every Semantic Band-Aid I can possibly pull out of the universe's bing-hole to make sure he doesn't mistake his dog's bed for his mother's womb and his Pabst bottles for breasts for the next half-year.