What is Starbucks?
1.
A major coffee chain that people obviously think is the devil's brew. Starbucks is apparently 'The Man' taking over the Earth.
Naysayer: "I hate Starbucks! It's turning America into mindless clones!"
Me: "Dude, get over it. It's just coffee. Let me drink my frappuchino in peace."
See
2.
Where you're going to end up if you get a master's degree in the following:
1) Art History
2) Fine Arts
3) Philosophy
4) Literature
"I know the barista at this Starbucks: she was in my 'Critical Analysis of James Joyce' class in college!"
3.
Starbucks, also known as, crack for rich people.
Junkie 1: Dude, my drug dealer got shot yesterday. What am I going to do?
Junkie 2: Lets go to Starbucks and get a Mocha.
Junkie 1: No there's no way I could afford that.
Junkie 2: I guess you'll just have to stick to inhaling cans of computer Dust-off again.
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4.
A Posh, upscale, trendy, pretentious coffee shop franchaise hell-bent on putting their more sincere competitors (like Dunkin' Donuts) out of business with their "designer" coffee and latte blends that are merely an ultra-sweetened and enriched concoction of Maxwell House, liquid shit and rat semen. They are mostly frequented by snotty, cardigan-wearing yuppie cocksuckers, corporate scumbags in three-piece suits and working class drones who think paying $4.00 for a cup of coffee makes them more successful and important.
FIREMAN: Oh, sir...sir! The World Trade Center has just collapsed and many survivors need help! Do you have any water you can spare?
STARBUCKS VENDOR: Sure. I have some bottled water over here you can have... for 300 bucks a bottle! Heh heh heh!
FIREMAN: You heartless slug... fuck you!
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5.
A clean and convenient coffee-related beverage provider that allows one to go get a consistently good cup of coffee no matter what town/airport you might be stuck in at the moment. Also, a delightful refuge from the hordes of "hometown" coffee shops run by people with bad attitudes who think they're too good for their jobs and intend to take that fact out on you for bothering to want a beverage served by them in the first place...
See also: A place that the average "Anti-popular-culture-trend-is" Spaz, likes to deride in large groups in order to clearly distinguish themselves from "The Man", "Yuppies," "Rich People", etc. Even though, they'd sell out in a second if they had a chance.
Example: No matter where I travel, I'm always able to order my "decaf-iced-soy-latte" and know that they'll make it right, thanks to the good people at Starbucks.
6.
Despite what the "free thinkers" will tell you about how Starbucks is somehow going to take over the world (this isn't Austin Powers), their coffee is pretty good. I figured we would have learned our lesson from South Park.
Jilly: Starbucks is so dumb. Only sheep go there.
Billy: Yes, I'm sure sheep would probably enjoy the taste of good coffee as well.
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7.
A widespread corporation that makes coffee, i don't care if it is 'the mans' way of drinking coffee, its is delicious. Granted, i don't like their stylings, like the smooth jazz playing in every branch, or the artsy fartsy stuff on the walls, or the names like decaf white chocolate bold mocha latte with cream, and then the description is, a bold, intriguing beverage, but i just like the coffee
ex.1: some guy: dude, i can't believe you bought that £2 coffee from 'the corporation'
me: shut up and let me drink my coffee
ex.2: me: what is a java mocha latte?
clerk: it is an invigorating, intriguing, bold bevarage from the foothills of mexico
me: does it taste good?
clerk: uuuh i don't know
ex.3: preppy scenester: oh, i love the smooth jazz stylings and intriguing art of this place (sips coffee) oh, this coffe is so smooth
me: shut up and let me drink my coffee
