What is The Cap'n?
1.
The supreme ruler of Crunchland.
Also a pirate.
"ARR, YE LANDLUBBERS! Yer money or yer cereal!"
2.
Author of a pirate-themed webcomic, High Seas Hijinks.
Knows a lot about pirates.
No relation to Cap'n Crunch or Captain Planet, though these rumors persist.
Actual name unknown.
* The Cap'n gnaws on his arm.
Random Words:
1.
Masturbation. Called zero-to-three because that's how many times you do it per day.
Alright guys, I'm going home to zero-to-..