What is The Dying Swan?
1.
The extraordinary feat of anthropomorphic drama performed by a perfectly healthy teenager desperate to avoid school.
The teenager croaks, whines, whines and may even flutter non-existent wings before collapsing on the nearest couch.
They lie completely limp and keep speaking to a minimum, but may make a soft cooing noise. They do their utmost to show their mother, by means of wincing and gasping, the sheer scale of the physical agony they are bravely enduring. Experienced swans may even manage to squeeze out a tear, or look pale and vomit on demand.
Me: Is Katherine going in today?
Mum: No. She's very ill. Very ill indeed. She's got a very high temperature and looks just awful.
Me: What?! It's just the dying swan act! I saw her put the thermometer in the microwave when you went to get dressed!
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