What is Turtling?
1.
The delicate moments right before one really, really has to take a shit, where the shit is literally poking its head out of the sphincter then quickly hiding inside again.
Man, on the drive home from Disneyland, I had to take a serious shit; I was totally turtling.
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2.
In video games it means two things.
For turned based strategy games, it means to keep your units together usually in or near their default positions on the map and use defensive tactics such as attacking only when the enemy is near you, using defend commands or other units to defend each other, etc.
In fighting games, it means to keep defending and block all of your enemies attacks untill there is an opportunity to strike.
Basically, in both cases it's using defense/blocking untill you have a good opportunity to make an action or attack your enemy.
"I just beat Nightmare Geese in Real Bout Fatal Fury! He was tough, but I blocked his attacks with my turtling skills and then attacked when I had the opportunity."
"In Front Mission in the 2nd or so battle against Driscoll's forces, I turtled and didn't move my units then attacked as soon as the enemy came near by"
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3.
The act of the male penis shrinking in horror and retreating into the abdomen whenever danger is present or a very unpleasant, anti-arousing thought is experienced. Much the same way a turtle retracts it's head into it's shell when faced with danger.
The thought of Brandy nekkid makes me turtle up big time.
4.
When you take all the crap out of someones backpack, flip it inside out, put all the stuff back in and zip it up during class. Usually when the person who owns the backpack is going to the bathroom...
"Mr. Hugger, tell Yari to quit turtling my backpack whenever I leave the class"
"I can't find my homework, it must have gotten thrown away last time my backpack got tutled"
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5.
When two humans feel the need for tantric gratification and one lays belly down while the other lies belly down on their back. Genital penetration may occur. Many turtling couples may be seen on Plympton street located near Harvard in Boston.
Krikey, I can't believe Tony is turtling with Liz right after she lit up that toilet!
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6.
In Tribes, and probably other games, where the flagholder hides inside the base where no one can get them. This is generally outlawed on base servers, as it leads to boring, stalemated games. Also one of the reasons why
7.
When you have to poop so bad that it's practically coming out and hard to tighten the sphincter muscle to keep it in.
Leigh was turtling but she had to wait for the guests to leave before she rushed to the bathroom.
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